Dr’s apt update!! Day 75
Sep 21, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1_AP2jFYwg

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and yeah so I will fill you guys in but
I hope you're all having a wonderful
sighs a wonderful Thursday I have I've
just been kind of laying around that's
why I didn't start my vlog until now but
yeah so I just wanted to to catch you
guys up and let you know that I am here
checked in I just got checked in my
blood pressure was how 149 over 90 so I
don't know I was a little bit high and
my heart rate was at 103
so anyways hopefully I'll get some
answers and then I'll fill you guys
didn't let you know what's going on why
do these rooms always bring anxiety look
why do they always bring anxiety
yes this is the doctor's room not the
funniest times when you have to take
labs I got three vials of blood taken
you guys I'm here
I wasn't Mike's wedding I don't know
what happened god it was like so nice
and cool when I got out of here or went
to go and go to the doctor but good Lord
it's hot but everything is done the
doctor's appointment went well very very
well so I will talk to you guys about
everything later but I did have to do
some lab work well lots of lab work and
I how do you would how do you uh I had
to do a urine test and I should get the
results back from that probably tomorrow
I think cuz it's kind of already late so
I'm thinking probably tomorrow or maybe
even well probably tomorrow tomorrow's
Friday so we'll find out what the
answers of that but he prescribed me a
whole bunch of stuff too which I'll talk
to you about that later but yeah so I am
now on my way to go get a drink from
dizzy brother and then I am going to
head home and see what my chickens are
up to I'm sure they're just you know
missing me so much
it's amazing how when you're away from
them you miss them but when you're with
them you're just like yeah I've made at
least nine anyways all right I will
check in with you guys in a little bit
I just wanted to fill you in let you
know that I am Alive I'm just very hot
anyways and I am driving my husband's he
got a car in his inventory and oh you
guys hmm
it's nice it is beautiful I actually
have my sunroof open it's a PIM Rama
panoramic I think it's what's called
sunroof it's a BMW you see all that or
is it just too bright that's probably
right it is just beautiful though
honestly I'm loving this car and the
other thing I like about it is I've lost
enough weight that I can actually fit in
this car which two months ago there
would have been knowing heck I could
have been in this car but no my belief
is anyways before I lose myself and
completely go off of the bonkers I might
as well just hang up now
and head home before it gets to traffic
eat hey guys so I am finally what a day
I brought my fingy Bubber
I brought my ring white to see if that
would help so that I don't seem so video
May and dark but we'll see how that
works
anyways so
we clearly have to talk about yes I went
to the doctor's today and I talked to
him he was so so happy with the results
of my weight loss so far
he was just like are you serious and
that made me feel so good because you
know when you have weight issues and
you're gonna go and see your doctor most
I'm not to say everybody but me me of
course and I know there's others out
there that dread to go see the doctor
because you feel so guilty when you go
to see him and you know that you are
overweight you're not healthy and of
course all these things are running
through your head of like the things
that you clearly could have taken care
of or whatever my doctor is very very
very good about not not dogging me down
about my weight
of course my weight has always been an
issue and my doctor has been my doctor
since I was 16 years old
yeah he's been a doctor for a very long
time of mine so he's been through all
the ups and downs of my weight my
medical issues to everything like it
just he's been he's been through it all
with me and soak it in and just like I'm
doing it I am sincerely doing this and
it feels so good to not just be so
strict with my you know of not allowing
excuses and old behaviors to pop in
because it's easy it can happen but to
be able to say no I'm not gonna do this
and no my behaviors are not going to go
back to that way it's a good feeling it
and so I talked to him and told him you
know since I started my life journey I
haven't drink not one soda and I don't
eat fast food and if I do eat fast food
its subway so I mean it's fast food but
it's not like I'm eating you know Burger
King or you know Panda Express or
something like that so I told him I said
you know I'm really not eating much
processed foods it's pretty much all all
prepared for the mill of and he was just
so excited he was just thrilled to hear
that I have totally changed my ways and
we talked about my you know my
exercising and he is just so excited he
still wants me to wait on doing the bike
just because of my knee we're still
getting that taken care of I do have a a
referral going in for physical therapy
but the last time physical therapy had
called me my knee wasn't hurting at the
time so I told the physical therapist I
said well my knees not really hurting
right now so is it like a needed thing
and she says well you know if it's not
hurting then you know then there's
really no reason to go forth with doing
the the physical therapy but if for some
reason your knee starts to hurt again
you know you've got our number just call
us up you know it's good for a year and
I was like okay but see the thing is is
that the pain isn't in my actual me like
I say my knee because that's the best
way to describe the pain is like the
location but it's really behind my leg
where that bulge is at so he checked
that today and felt around and he is
ordering a ultrasound for that and then
also putting an order in for an ortho
ortho to call me and get me in for an
appointment with them
I'm sorry I'm so thirsty for my doctor's
appointment and then let's see my
lexapro which is my depression pill is
stable so we're not doing anything with
that but I did talk to him about like I
feel like lately more than anything I've
been dealing with like a lot of ups and
downs of my moods and I don't know if
it's from just life stress I don't know
if it's just stress with the kids I
don't really know what's triggering it
or if there's anything even triggering
it because I can't pinpoint that there's
really anything technically like that I
can ground it on and say no this is what
is causing this to be what it is but I
told him I said I don't like it I don't
like these really highs and then drops
of lows and I don't feel that it's my
depression sinking and like say the
medicines not working as well or
something because it's not like a when I
was really in my lows of my lows with my
depression it was just you know life was
like I didn't want to get up and do
anything I didn't want to clean myself I
didn't care if the house was clean
I didn't tend to my kids as needs very
well I did not tend to any of my own
needs
clearly I neglected everything about
myself
I was gaining weight like you would not
believe because I was just eating eating
eating I would have bouts of just
sitting in my room and crying and just
you know why until locked myself away
and not talk to anybody and I pulled
away from Olli I mean I just just
basically just counted myself from
everything and everybody of life and
just pretty much locked myself into one
area and I that's when like my
depression really amped up to the point
where I finally just snapped one night
and I may I guess my body and my brain
and everything just had an overloaded
amount
and I clearly lost it and that was the
night that I tried to take my life two
years ago I tried to hurt myself so that
I couldn't fill this pain anymore
because that I was in such deep
depression and I didn't know that I was
having depression I think I've always
struggled with depression though I think
that it's always been something that
I've struggled with I don't think I was
ever diagnosed or taken to the doctor
for it in person like personally which I
find really sad that my doctors that
were my doctors at the time not talking
about the doctor I have now but when pre
like as a child I'm really surprised
that they didn't check into that more I
don't know if it was because depression
wasn't such a big thing back then I
don't know I really I don't know why I
wasn't but I believe that I've had
depression for many years of my life but
I was never diagnosed and never treated
for it and I think just after having the
babies and you know Omar you know was a
very I mean he was the the birth was
very healthy and a great birth but then
because he was born at 32 weeks
gestation he was in the NICU and that
was probably one of the darkest times of
my life I would say was when we were all
stuck in the NICU with this baby that I
loved so much and wanted to come home to
and I had to keep leaving him so I could
come home and I couldn't stay at the
NICU overnight because I had to have my
legs up due to pre pre delivery clamp
see I think it's cold or something like
that where you get preeclampsia after
you give birth so my legs had swelled up
my blood pressure had went up and so we
really had to watch that
and so they had me going home during
that time so every night we had to leave
him and we'd go during the day and I'd
stay with him for all day I like I
wouldn't leave him but it was a very
very very very hard time during my my
life was during that time due to you
know I felt very alone I mean I had my
husband and Jeremiah was there but I had
not one visitor come to try and see the
baby I didn't receive one
congratulations card I didn't receive no
flowers I didn't receive nothing nothing
and I just thought their day in and day
out
looking at the bare walls but when I
would walk by other people's nursery
rooms and the NICU they were all
decorated had flowers and balloons and
cards and stuffed animals and all these
things and I just that really truly
broke me because I thought that at least
my family would you know I thought my
family would truly step up and be more
involved and they weren't and that was a
true letdown and my heart really showed
me a lot during that time but also
during that time I think that I got the
postpartum depression but again I don't
think well they did put me on medicine
after I had Omar for a little bit but
then right after I got pregnant with
Ezra all of a sudden I felt fine which
makes sense because my hormones had went
back up because I was pregnant again so
they took me off the depression pills
and then it was like a month later I
found out I was pregnant and so I was on
a very short amount of time with Omar
and so after I had an era we didn't
really like follow up with it and it was
about when she was four months old and
you know it had been a little bit hard
you know at the beginning my mother and
I was here she was such an amazing
in hope and you know Ollie was helping
as much as possible but you know being a
mom you want to be able to tend to all
of your children and not feel like you
can't tend to them because your
uncapable of being able to because you
know you're healing from c-sections and
I mean my body was still healing from
one c-section when I jumped to another
c-section and so my body was really torn
up after having Ezra I mean I really was
torn up pretty good with her
but it was just one night it just things
sent me over the edge and I clearly lost
it and the only thing that I could think
of doing was hurting myself to just
escape everything I I didn't know what
else to do and having a father that
committed suicide it's very scary
because it's very close you know and I
have a grandfather that committed
suicide got multiple family members like
I've shared before that have committed
suicide and so anyways but with that so
today we you know I told him I said I
don't feel like it's the depression I
can tell the difference with the
depression but I feel like it's just
like my mood is up then down really bad
so he prescribed me a mood stabilizer
and I'm supposed to take that three
times a day and then we'll bump it to
four times depending on how I'm doing
and then he is prescribing me some
medicine for my rash because he said
that it's an internal and external
infection go figure
leave it to me gotta make it gotta make
it complicated you know
so he prescribed me three different
antibiotics for that one I'll take
orally too I have to put on my body
twice a day and then what was the other
thing
oh and then I talked to him about my
fatigue that I have been just so drained
the last two weeks and you would think
that with losing weight and being more
energetic that you would have more
energy but not this woman no no no no
and I get eight hours of sleep at night
like I don't there's no reason to be so
tired like I am but I literally I mean I
wake up yawning like I literally I say
the word and I do it but I mean I
literally wake up in the morning and I'm
just I'm already yawning like waiting
for bed
and it's just not me that's so not me so
they end up taking five huge vials of
blood by the fourth one I was just like
okay you guys I'm feeling a little woozy
so they laid me back so they could
continue to get the fourth or the fifth
one and then I had to take a urine test
so they're gonna check for my thyroid
there's a whole bunch of things that
they're gonna be checking a panels of so
I should get the results back for that
within the next day or two I think that
was it I have a follow-up appointment in
six weeks to check everything that we've
been changing with the medicines and my
rash and all of that but anyways other
than that that was it I'm gonna cut it
short tonight because I am really tired
again like I said I just don't know why
I've gotten no energy but all he's gonna
make me a steak salad so I'm really
excited for my food I am not working out
today so what we talked about with well
what I talked to my doctor about is he
said that he wants to wait on me walking
outside because the heat and my rash and
everything he wants to wait until that's
completely cleared up before I start
doing that again and then as soon as I'm
done walking I have to come directly in
and take a shower dry it really good
good but you know my powders and stuff
on it
so that we don't have any more bouts of
this infection but he's totally cool
with me doing my stationary workout so
we're gonna continue to do that but I'm
doing it today because I walked quite a
bit at the doctor's because it's quite a
while it's not quite a while it's quite
a walk just to get to the doctors off
and I'm I had to walk from the door all
the way in and so I walked pretty I
walked a pretty good amount so I'm just
calling that my workout today and I'm
just gonna let my body kind of rest a
little bit just because after taking
that much blood I just feel really
drained I'm gonna have a really good
dinner tonight
and hopefully the steak will kind of
give me a little bit of energy we'll
replace a little bit of the blood that
was lost and then there was anything
really exciting going on tonight the
kids have all had their buzz which was
last night so tonight it's not bath
night so yeah they think that was that's
my diet you guys but I'm glad that I was
able to take you guys along for my
doctor's and be able to continue to
share this amazing journey with you guys
I love every aspect of what I'm sharing
with you guys and some things are more
personal than others but I don't feel
like I could not be more honest with you
guys than I am because you guys mean so
much to me I know that you guys are
doing nothing but pushing that support
and encouragement on me so why would I
think twice about sharing personal items
with you guys
so anyways with that I hope you guys
enjoyed my vlog today I hope that you
enjoyed going to the doctor's and going
into the potty room with me you guys
would like that part and as always I
will see you guys tomorrow morning
pretty early I think until then sweet
dreams
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